This is for Celine. Her favorite quote is: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

I am sick. Heart-broken coughs rattle my body and the

cold burns everywhere. Sickly sweet, this sickness is the greatest

pandemic. I am in love. And what a love! The thing

is, it causes palpitations. My sinuses are stuffed. You’ll

laugh, sure, but I am bed-ridden. Each and ever-

y night I shiver in cold, flu sweats. And my body has learn-

ed to adapt. My aches and pains are caresses. Is

that not the definition of ecstasy? To just

lay writhing in the ache? To wish for a beginning? To

feel as if every pore is bursting? Yes, love

is an illness of the worst kind. Incurable, fatal. It is cancer and

it is also the cure. The radiation emanates, be-

ing both chemotherapy and chemoempathy. I am loved

and it is the infection that will kill me. It tears apart my cells. In

our bed, I leave you with everything, and wait for sleep to return.